Go Bucks.
The Path to Pregnancy
It never ceases to amaze me how much has to happen for a womyn to become pregnant.
I’ve never been pregnant and decided, after much thought and deep prayer, that I want to be a mother. My preference for beginning a family would be to have a biological child first and then adopt in a few years. However, Adonis and I are completely open to all the different ways that progeny come about.
In 1999, I had a surgery that ended with a tumor the size of grapefruit being extracted from my right ovary and another cyst removed from my left. Portions of both ovaries were removed, but I was told that children were still a possibility. I was twenty and thoughts of children were frequent, but I wasn’t ready. Adonis and I, at that point in our lives, were passing acquaintances at college drinking fiestas.
And here we are, going to doctors and wondering what in the world I need to do to contribute to the global population.
Another surgery, apparently, is what needs to happen.
The road to health is a never ending bike path. Once you think you can close your eyes and enjoy the wind, even for a split second, a bend in the road approaches and that moment of relaxation is put off for another mile or two. And then another bend. Sometimes, despite, our healthy habits, frequent exercising, and water drinking, our bodies decide to do things all on their own. Mine decided to make tumors again and complicate my desire to have life beyond my own.
Two surgeries before thirty. That’s not exactly what I imagined for myself, but when I think of all the unexpected bends in the road, I accept this road as mine. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to get through this time with promise and health.
ps – I am NOT moving my blog to be classified under “infertility” blogosphere or whatever some folks have suggested. While I certainly appreciate the great resources of those blogs, and I will continue to expand my writing in other areas of the internet, this is my home here – as a radical womyn of color feminist. I’m just a feminist who wants babies.
Our Garbage Disposal
has been acting up and I hate when it looks like someone vomited in the sink and I have no ability to drain it.
With that lovely image in your minds, Nick and I called our house insurance folks to have someone come and take a look at why it’s simply not turning on. And why, all of a sudden, is our dishwasher not draining?
So, Mr. Fixit marches in and peers down with a flashlight while I am explaining how stumped Nick and I are about why it’s like this.
We reaches underneath the sink and flips a button that says RESTART.
It gurgles free.
“That’ll be $75.”
Transgender Violence
The coverage is unbelievably low for transgender violence and it’s kind of taking my breath away to read what is going on right now.
As Duanne Johnson was violently killed several days ago, another murder has taken place. Last Friday, Moses “Teish” Cannon was shot and killed.
H/T Brownfemipower.
Update: Thanks to Drakyn for much information.
FEM WATCH III: BEST OF 2008, Deadline 11/25/ 2008
The Holidays are A-Coming
…and that means two things for me and Nick.
1) Massive Travel
2) Board Games
Nick and I were born competitive people so board games are a wonderful way to exercise healthy habits of winning and practicing coping mechanisms when we act like a disgraceful loser. One of my favorite things about spending time with Nick’s family is the passion of board games. Everyone gets into it and it’s every wo/man for her/himself. While my favorite is Tripoly, Cranium is definitely up there as well.
Here is a small glimpse into the hilarity of Cranium.
Background: Jay and Keith are one team. Jay is humming a tune that Keith must figure out. It’s not an All-Play, but we certainly take turns with our jabs and teasing. Listen closely to Jay and see if you can figure out what he’s humming before anyone else.
Let me make a prediction: you won’t.
Confirming What We ALL Know
Just in time for your weekend.
As I like to say to my loved ones at least one a week, “Go. Live your life.”
Larry Summers Ousted Because of "Women’s Groups"
I’ve been reading about this Larry Summers controversy for a while. From 2002-2004, I was at Boston College for grad school and subsequently took a course at Harvard in my time there. I become infinitely fascinated with Harvard ethos and had heard on campus that the climate for women faculty was next to something atrocious. Harvard, at the time, was not known for its friendly atmosphere. In 2005, Summers made the infamous comments about women in math and science and, since then, I have gotten into countless nasty arguments with Adonis over it.
He doesn’t think it’s fair to write someone – anyone – off after one comment for which Summers apologized profusely.
I think that at certain levels of power and influence, you lose certain privileges to think out loud without suffering the consequence of demeaning, or thoughtless (at best), comments. If you’re looking to stir things up, be ready to take the deepest burn possible: offended audience members.
I do get the feeling that a lot of people do not understand what he said and the context in which he said them. It’s important to understand the situation (for as much as we can – only 50 or so invited people were in the room when he made his presentation that contained the controversial comments) before blasting this guy to smithereens.
Basically, I think he exercised extremely poor judgment. Consequently, as a prominent academic leader, what you say in public will haunt you for the rest of your public life. For me, it’s not his words (people say ignorant comments all the time), but the CONTEXT in which he offered that suggestion is just incredible to me. And I think it’s insulting and ludicrous for an economist and Harvard president to offer such a reasoning (that innate differences could be a possible reason as to why women are not as successful in math and science) when tested research and scholarship has proven that girls do equally well in math and science when they are supported and when fewer males are in the classroom. Additionally, those findings were supposedly JUST presented earlier that day, before he made his, what is now known as his goodbye, speech.
So, again, it’s not just his words that were problematic, its that he didn’t have the ability or grip to utilize (or acknowledge) modern research about women’s achievements when addressing some of the most brilliant academic women in the world. And if that omission was intentional, then angering the conference participants is just downright counterproductive.
Supposedly, Summers has a history of stirring things up to provoke discussion and progress. I don’t doubt Summers’ brilliance or his capacity to do his job, but his history is far too controversial to ignore. Frankly, I’m a bit sick of political fireworks and would rather hear reports of our nation improving instead of more drama and e-apologies.
Contrary to reports, it is not “women’s groups” that ousted Summers from Treasury Secretary. Whether he meant to or not, he burned that possibility in 2005, when he decided to offer three suggestions that would ultimately be the downfall of his public image and leadership.
#1 Basically, The Shape
Let’s start with some basics about Ohio. (By the way, this is in no particular order.) You gotta love this time of year when the map of America is shown all over TV to explain the electoral map of the US. My favorite is whenever the anchor person talks about how Ohio is the heart of America and it’s quite clear that our state boundaries reflect that responsibility. We are a heart. Isn’t that warm?
Then the anchor goes on to talk about how Ohio is the reflection of America. So goes Ohio, so goes the nation.
Translation: it’s a place of power.
And I like power.
Not only that, but the heart shaped edges are a unique little factoid about our great state. Sometimes, when perusing the kitchen utensil aisles in the store, I wonder why someone hasn’t made an Ohio cookie cutter. Who wouldn’t love to take a great big bite out of Cincinnati and Dayton?
And so begins the list of Why Ohio Gets to Keep Us.
The Best of Ohio
So, Ohio –
How ya doin’?
You and I have had a long road together. Like a dysfunctional relationship, I keep coming back to you. I leave, but I keep coming back with a belief that I will find a new part of you that fits me.
You may win me over in the end. Maybe.
It’s not that I don’t want to be won over. I just need to be convinced. So, let’s work together.
I’m beginning a new series on this blog that gives evidence of Ohio love; things that surprise me about you. (I really hope there’s a lot.)
So, here’s our deal: you keep revealing your coolness to me here in Cleveland and I’ll keep record on this blog of how rad you really can be. Let’s start there.
It’s all about reframing. It’s all about reframing. I’ll reframe my experiences and fall in love with you, hopefully, by the end of my life. Right now, I’d say you’re my really good friend that I go with to see the new James Bond movies. No hand holding, no funny business. We’re just good friends.
You give me the O-H.
I’ll document the I-O.
The series will be called: Why Ohio Gets to Keep Us
Let’s get going.