Announcements and Plans

It’s On…It’s SO On

Published on by Lisa

For those who know us best, the gene that determines competitiveness runs strong in both Factora and Borchers families. It has to. I’ve never met anyone who’s more competitive than I am. That is, not until I met Nick.

Competitiveness comes in many forms. There’s the obvious kind that reveals itself in sports. The Michael Jordan/Tiger Woods (sans sex scandal) kind of competition. This is the “I CANNOT LOSE. EVER.” gene which makes athletes train twice as hard and cultivates a near military discipline that most of us civilians would find unbearable.

Then there’s other genes of competition, more subtle but just as lethal. This competitive gene revolves around the oratory debate stratosphere, aka “I MUST BE RIGHT. I AM RIGHT.” kind of thinking. It’s a gene that makes its way into the most innocuous of situations – bowling, finding a parking space, starting a campfire, any household project, insurance claims…

You think these situations are not competitive? Move in with us for a week, you’ll understand after that.

No matter what the situation, Nick and I often pit ourselves against the opponent, be it a piece of stubborn firewood that will not flame up along with the others or a slow car in the Panera Bread parking lot who is blocking traffic. Everything’s a competition. No dispute too small, no challenge too big. There are two trophy words uttered in our house that carry more weight than anything: I WIN.

Sometimes it’s shouted, sometimes it’s whispered into a billowing pile of laundry. Whatever needs conquering shall be conquered in our house.

So, you can imagine the kind of raised eyebrows and smack talk in our marriage when the competition is between us. It can get ugly, but it’s always entertaining. Many people do not know that Nick is, as Keith Borchers said in his best man speech at our wedding, “an ego maniac who thinks he’s sweet at everything.”

Save opera and any form of dancing, this is true about Nicholas David Borchers. He hates losing. He can’t stand being second. He likes strategy and mind-games during poker. He’s all about focus and readjustment. Don’t be fooled by his calm demeanor. There’s a beast inside him called THE WINNER’S CIRCLE.

And then there’s me. Don’t think that I don’t have my own monster and even according to Nick, I may be more competitive than him. There’s a reason why I have the Rocky IV soundtrack on my iPod. Most people wouldn’t see it coming, kind of like a CATEGORY FIVE HURRICANE that didn’t come up on your weather outlook.

My competitiveness is often stuffed away because of its monstrosity. It can and has ruined moments of friendly game playing. While everyone else shrugs after a loss, I seethe inside. Competitiveness is like a constant search for perfection, which can never be attained. So, the desire to win or be right or dominate knows no rest. But, it’s not always appropriate to be competitive so I, along with Nick, keep it to myself. We’re like two man-eating sharks in a Sea World tank: it’s in our blood and in our nature, but we’re trained to be harmless.

That was a long introduction into the heart of this post, but it’s critical for you to know the background of our competitive edges.

Nick and I have a combined goal to be and become healthier parents. Running around with Isaiah necessitates optimal states of health so we decided to commit to losing a few pounds. I need to shed my pregnancy weight and Nick, many months ago, invented a campaign called, “Don’t Get Fat” because of his fear of rolling into a “fat new dad.”

So we made a deal and the stakes are high.

Beginning Sunday, March 7th, we are having our own personal Biggest Loser competition. We adapted the show to our own lives and here are the ground rules:

Weekly weigh-ins on Sunday
Largest percentage of weight loss wins
Two goal dates: June 4, 2010 (our 5 year anniversary) and September 4, 2010.
Whoever has the largest percentage of weight loss on June 4, 2010 has the intermediate prize – winner gets one evening of their choice every week to go out and do whatever s/he wants while Isaiah is with the other parent.

If you don’t understand the impact of that reward, go back and read it again. This prize is HUGE. This can mean going out with your friends. For Nick it can mean going to play racquetball with Books and Sam or going to the library for a few hours. For me that means extended trips to a coffee shop or taking my time at a farmer’s market.

The ultimate prize, come September 4, will be individualized. Nick has yet to announce what his prize will be if he wins. If I win, I get to go to the conference of my choice in any part of the United States. (I’m such a nerd. I adore conferences on writing, feminism, media, etc…) Beside the fact that I want to shed my preggers weight, that conference-attending prize alone all but guarantees that I will win. Hello? Travel? Hotels? Learning? Meeting new writers and artists? That’s what I was born to do.

This competition is huge and normally, I would not post something like this on our blog, but I figured if our friends and family – and God knows who else on the internet is reading this – is in the know, we are accountable to seeing this through. And we will.

It’s man vs. woman. Focus vs. Passion. Tall vs. Short. Endurance vs. Intervals.

Choose your team now and place your bets. Nick is team blue. I am team green.

Cheers to a healthier Borchers/Factora-Borchers family in 2010.

(And, here’s to ME, cause you know I’m going to lick this thing…)

An Impending Change

Published on by Lisa

Notes from Home Plate has been going strong now for about two years. I first began it as a way to keep everyone updated when Nick and I moved to Boston. Digital technology, I’ve discovered, has a marvelous potential for keeping people together. Through online tools, I’ve been able to connect with family as far as the Philippines, as close as Russia, Ohio, and spread news to neighbors on our street.

Well before I started this particular blog, I had been slowly spreading my writing to different magazines, both in print and online, and have been able to forge relationships with different publishers, press houses, and writers. The majority of my assignments, requests to present at conferences, and basically any opportunity to advance myself as a writer has come from opening my writing to the web. With careful navigation and a discerning eye, the internet is and can be the leading tool for freelance writers, especially those like me are looking to stay independent, but advance in my writing projects to become more streamlined and long-term. In a nutshell, I’m growing out of short stints for magazines, quick reports, and blog posts. It occured to me in a car ride with Nick, after one of my photography shoots, that I had reached a point in my pregnancy, or rather, in my life, where I finally had my first encounter with physical limitation: I wasn’t just physically exhausted, I was mentally drained by my desire to accomplish so many different things.

Not only was I tired, but I realized after shooting a wedding for 13 hours, that to be good great at anything requires much more than just love and passion. I’ve got plenty of that. It takes large doses of discipline and a thick skin for rejection. As I collapsed in the car and Nick drove me home, this epiphany of age dawned on my noggin: I have to choose.

You don’t become great at anything spreading yourself too thin or promising your time and energy to 10 different ideas. You choose one. And the rest is a lot of prayer, luck, and work.

As Isaiah lets me know more and more everyday that my life is about to take on a monumental and glorious change, my concept of “time” and “freedom” is going to undergo a radical makeover. It’s time for priorities.

How does that all affect this blog?

Well, let this post be a sign of an impending change. At the endless prompting by writing colleagues, support from my editor, and a profound desire to retain and grow my readerships from various circles, I am working with a webdesigner to create my own site. It will be a forging of several blogs and websites that I already contribute to, a home for my writing, a place where people can find me. As I begin to present my writing and work to different audiences, it will only behoove me to settle into one place where everyone can find me — family, friends, strangers, publishers, and readers. Also, it will allow me to focus on ONE place, one site, one project. The easier it is to find me, the more obtainable my writing goals become.

The new site will be much different than this blog, obviously. Notes from Home Plate has largely been anecdotal writings about my personal life with Nick, our life together, and glimpses into our domestic creation we have called home and marriage. It is quite different than, say, articles I have written about social activism, gender equality, or spiritual liberation. It won’t be easy, but my vision is to incorporate ALL of my writing, all of who I am, into one place.

As a writer, especially as an online contributor where readers respond instantaneously and emotionally-charged, I’ve learned much about disagreement and criticism. Opening ALL of my my writing to strangers is not what makes me nervous, it’s opening it to those already in my life! It’s to my family and friends who often see me, know me, and will also be reading my work. But, in addition to coming to a point in my life where I have grown tired of separating my audiences, I have come to point where I feel the need to allow those in my life to read me, to know me, and pray that that will lead me to a better place as a writer. I’m planning on writing more courageously. There is a very, very fine line I must observe when it comes to boundaries and taking risks. I’ve been sitting on this decision for a mighty long time and I finally decided to bite the bullet. Pull the trigger. Jump in the deep end. Hit the gas pedal.

My own website is on its way.

The spirit of change is always fraught with unpredictability and fragility. It’s always a channel of excitement, opportunity, and novelty. Watch for it in the next month.

So Much for a Quiet Pregnancy

Published on by Lisa

As the second trimester of pregnancy is underway, Nick and I have settled (somewhat) into a mental stability together about our impending parenthood. While the baby was a wonderful planned event, there truly is nothing that can prepare you for the words, “We’re pregnant,” “We’re having a baby,” or anything along those lines. Week by week, as the news softens from joyous shock to ecstatic reality, we’ve been sharing the news with more and more people in our lives.

To me, it’s now commonplace to let people know that we’re expecting. It’s been over three months and every conversation tends to revolve around preparing for the bundle of joy in six months. But nothing, I repeat nothing, could prepare us for when we walked into church this morning.

One of our friends came up to our pew to hug us. Since we hadn’t seen Jennifer in a long time, the embrace didn’t feel anything new or strange. But when she pulled away from us she says, “It’s nice to see you guys on the front cover of the bulletin.”

And there it was, for the world to read that we’re expecting.

Now, since Nick works for the parish, it makes sense and it is quite the lovely feeling of having a community of people share the wonder and happiness of our first pregnancy.

It just took me awhile to get used to have people know me inadvertently through Nick. All I know about them is that that they are very genuine and nice people. And it feels great to be supported.

So, we grabbed the bulletin, and scanned the pastor’s notes, I smiled up at Nick and said, “Well, so much for a quiet pregnancy.”

Nick replied, “Like this was going to be a quiet pregnancy anyway.”

Is the World Ready?

Published on by Lisa

Everyone who knows keeps asking, “Are you ready?”

And all I keep thinking, “Are WE ready? It’s more like is the WORLD ready for another human who is 1/2 me and 1/2 Nick?”

Yes, friends, family, and loved ones, the day has finally arrived, if you haven’t already guessed from small leaks (or as Nick would say, “…the weakest links in our circuit of family and friends,”) that we are expecting a little one to grace our lives and expand the family. I am pregnant!

Oh, the anticipation…oh the relief of FINALLY being able to blog and write about the past 9 weeks.

Let me tell you, keeping a secret is just not my thing, especially when it’s so joyous!

Roughly 7 weeks ago, I knew I was pregnant even before those stick tests told me so. Here were the big clues:

1) I’ve been a deep sleeper since I was born. I can sleep through a hurricane. Out of nowhere, I start waking up in the middle of the night, uncomfortable.

2) I start getting horrible abdominal gas pains and my body is bloated like a marshmallow.

3) Everything, even the taste of water, is bitter and tastes like liver in my mouth.

4) I feel, how shall you say, different.

I just freaking knew. I mean, I just knew. But 6 pregnancy tests later, it was confirmed and what a day it was….

It was a Sunday. I woke up at 6am because I couldn’t sleep (remember clue #1) and Nick woke up about an hour later to find me sitting up in bed, thinking. I took the test and left the stick in the bathroom, yelling at Nick to get out of the bathroom, “WE WON’T LOOK AT IT! WE WON’T LOOK AT IT! IT’LL BE TORTURE! LET’S GO TO ANOTHER ROOM FOR TWO MINUTES!”

So we go to the bedroom and pace the floor. Well, Nick paces the floor and starts blabbering about the 101 reasons why the test could be false negative and we should look at the chances of it being wrong and how we should definitely take another one tomorrow and how so many factors could disrupt the accuracy of the results…When Nick is reasoning aloud really fast, he makes me even more nervous because he’s never nervous.

When two minutes are up, I charge into the bathroom and see a very large PLUS sign and worldlessly go up to the Papa to be and present the test two feet above my head, aka, Nick’s eye level. Never, in all the years I’ve loved Nick, ever saw his face look so purely joyous and excited (not even when he married me, imagine that…). We didn’t say a word, just hugged for a long time while I started to cry of course.

Then we flopped ourselves on our bed and were quiet. Finally, I broke out and said, “So, there’s a baby inside me and we’re gonna be parents.”

Nick flops over to look at me, “I know, it’s crazy isn’t it?”

“Crazy? Try insane and unthinkable. WE. US. WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS. Like, a life is OUR responsibility.”

But nothing could taint our joy, disbelief, and excitement.

Nick left for El Salvador two days after our big news and it was torture not to tell anyone. So I burned the secret to my sister, Christina here in Cleveland, and my mom. I was DYING to tell someone and Nick was gone for 5 days. I just couldn’t wander the world without anyone to share it with.

We’ve had two doctors appointments and everything looks excellent. We already heard the baby’s heartbeat and are floored by each little miracle of our little pinto bean growing inside me. It’s so wonderful and simultaneously terrifying.

A lot of people wonder how we told people so early. Our doctors warned us that we shouldn’t spill the beans until the 11th week or so. Nick and I thought awhile about that and then finally came to our conclusion: understandably, you don’t want to get everyone excited when there’s such a chance of miscarriage. But, all the people in our lives who we trust and would want to know we had a miscarriage would also want to know if we were pregnant. The same people we’d turn to in times of sadness are the same people we’d turn to share our miracle. And so we decided to tell folks around 6 weeks and pray for a safe journey for our little one.

We tried to tell as many people face to face as we could, but alas, life is complicated and news travels fast.

Little Pinto is expected to come into the world January 1, 2010.

So, like I said…it’s not a matter if WE’RE ready, but is the world ready?

New Munchkins

Published on by Lisa

My sister-in-law just gave birth two days ago to a new baby boy! Nick and I have another nephew! Joseph Guatano Factora was born a big 8lbs and some ounces at 3:30am May 14, 2008.

A big congrats to Lisa and Nick Feczko for their bouncing bundle, Andrew who was born this week as well!

YAY for munchkins!

A HOUSE!

Published on by Lisa

We’re 2/3 of the way there.

We put an offer in.

Negotiated.

Accepted.

We’re in for the inspection phase.

[waiting, waiting]

Reasons For Change

Published on by Lisa

There’s nothing like change.

There’s nothing that brings the woes of anxiety or the ecstasy of surprise more than the shifting landscape we call life. Even with Nick’s practicality and my intuition put together, we will never be able to predict where the bend of the road will take us.

Deep thoughts, by LFB.

And now, it is with great pleasure (and relief) that I announce some major changes to your favorite Bostonians.

First, as some of you may have heard, Nick has decided to leave his doctoral program at Boston College. While a marriage is an archway over two souls, it’s really his story to tell as to why he’s leaving and I feel funny trying to explain for him. But, essentially, in a nutshell sold at Kroger, Nick is an individual who thrives in helping people in a relational setting; a ministerial purpose drives his personality, faith, and career. Academia can be an extremely isolating and elitist experience. You spend sometimes over 10 hours a day reading and researching topics that only a handful of people will fully understand. With meeting students who have progressed into the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years in the same program he was in, we observed that not only did the stress never let up, it only intensified with job hunting, more researching, tenure, and the pressure to publish. And just like in any other facet of life, it’s not so much about right and wrong, it was about the question of fit. Nick recognized in the past few months that the fit just wasn’t there. It’s as complicated as that. It’s as simple as that.

Shortly after we began discussing our options, Nick, on a whim, sent his resume to a parish in Cleveland, St. Dominic, who was hiring for a multifaceted position as Pastoral Minister. We were on our way home to Ohio for Easter when this opportunity rose. Within a few weeks, Nick had interviewed, received a wonderful offer, and accepted.

I truly believe that as we get older, it becomes more difficult to communicate in original phrases. The cliches of “follow your heart,” and “you just know,” and “only time will tell,” are so overused, I cringe at the thought of further exploiting their usage. But, it’s true. These stupid cliches are completely true. What has transpired in our lives in the past few months has been painful, wonderful, difficult, and unpredictable. (Personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way, but it’s hard on the emotions.)

We had begun to build our home here in Boston, but found ourselves growing silent to more urgent questions of sustainability, fit, and future. What we thought we wanted has, quite simply, changed. We are also crazily blessed that we are able to shift our lives and dreams in accordance to our desires and find support in every avenue we seek. In times where many are without jobs, the market is bleak for so many, and the economy continues to plummet, Nick and I feel are so grateful for our blessings and opportunities.

Then began the House hunting.

I have been wanting to buy my own house since I was, like, seven years old. Finding the right home for Nick and I has been an incredibly exciting journey, but a strenuous conversation in terms of all the countless considerations when buying your first home. Nick and I will be the first to admit proud and loud: WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BUYING A HOME. Very similarly when we planned a wedding, we started from scratch. We build a layout of what we want and slowly go from there. Very similarly in how we planned our wedding, Nick thinks mechanically: paperwork, mortgages, and equity. I think details: window replacements, roof, foundation, and air conditioning. Now more than ever in my time of knowing Nick, I have thanked God a hundred times this month that he and I are so often on the same page.

This past weekend, we went to Cleveland and between this weekend and Easter, we’ve probably seen about 25 houses. To put it lightly, we are exhausted. This out of state shopping is so hard! But, we have possibilities and we’re keeping the stress level in check. Nick has had more success with that lately.

Onto other big news…as if a new job, house hunting, and moving isn’t enough – I am going on a massively large trip…a trip of a lifetime.

In January, I applied to study in a program that would allow me to study and live in the Philippines for six weeks while I attended crash courses in economics, history, literature, and language classes. The program, built specifically for Filipino Americans who have never been to the Philippines, was a golden find. I was accepted last week and will be conducting my own research at the University of the Philippines, their premier university and one of the oldest in the world. The scholars I will study under are some of the best philosophers, historians, and professors in the country and I am more than excited to go. I will leave sometime at the end of June and return sometime in August (dates are uncertain). This has been an opportunity that I have been looking for my whole life and there are no words to express how perfect this is for me at this time in my life.

And so, I have resigned from my job at Emerson College and have begun peeking around Cleveland for possibilities. But I’m in no rush. My focus is on the trip and preparing for it as best as I can. Nick will begin his new job in July and we’re prepping each other for not seeing each other for six weeks. My heart hurts already just thinking about that.

And, so, our dear family and friends, forgive us for not spilling the beans earlier, but we wanted to wait until we were certain of our plans. And now they are certain. We continue to be grateful for your support, wherever we may be. (Hence the change in the blog title!)

Great News!

Published on by Lisa

As many of you know, I have been working on my writing career for quite some time now. If I’m just breaking your bubble now, I’m sorry to report that administrative positions in higher education is NOT my sole purpose in life and I have been actively working on my writing career in the field of creative non-fiction, investigative journalism, essay, prose, and poetry. These specific genres are my strengths and I focus specifically on women’s issues, feminism, and social justice.

There’s a lot of misconception about these issues, particularly feminism, that I have spent many years trying to dismantle. The difficulty lies in explaining this to everyone that asks, “So, what do you do?” Well, just like any other non-traditional kind of job, writing has no specific track. There are no guarantees for success, salary, or benefits. I utilize my other skills and degrees for more secure positions (my job at the Women’s Center at Miami University, my Resident Director positon here at Emerson College) that afford flexibility to write my little heart out when I can. Nick has been an extremely supportive partner in this respect, always comforting me when my articles get turned down, when my pitches to magazines are denied, or when my poetry is reviewed with less than an approving eye.

The great news is that I have recently been hired for (part-time) an Editor position with Make/Shift magazine. An independent, non-profit magazine that is dedicated to featuring artists, writers, and activists, Make/Shift is a dream come true for me. Its holistic philosophies and dedication to social justice is a refreshing breath from mainstream magazines and media.

For those who are not familiar with the independent scene, the best analogy I can come up with is mainstream vs. independant films. While Blockbusters may roll in the millions with the likes of Will Smith, Renee Zellweger, or couch jumping freak Tom Cruise, indie films are more known for their deep, artistic, and lower budget styles. Indie films are intentionally different because their values are not in money making or operating under a growth model (i.e. production, “bigger is better” mentality).

The same is true for literature and magazines. Make/Shift is not trying to be a Time or National Geographic magazine. It’s based in Los Angeles and their editors are free to live whereever they please as long as they have working computers and internet access. My Editor position is dedicated to keeping my ear to the ground and report the latest and greatest news concerning the issues encompassed in feminism: politics, sexuality, art, conferences, publications, the environment, music, and international news concerning women’s rights.

If this entire post has left you wondering, still, what in the hell I am doing, no worries. Just know that I just accepted an incredible position that makes me outrageously excited. Check out its website: http://www.makeshiftmag.com/