There are many ways to look at life, I’ve decided. I have as many options as I do pairs of shoes.

As I considering going back to school, punting out a baby, writing for my life…I have decided that I have no decision to make because I have no F*cking idea what in the world I am supposed to do. It’s not an absence of interest. Believe me, there is no lack of enthusiasm. The problem with too much passion is that there is lack of direction, no specificity. That, my friends, is the problem.

Education is in my future. The intersection of race, class, gender is in my future. Writing is in my future. Children is in my future.

That’s all I know. For now.

I just had a conversation with one of my old professors who asked me a million questions pertaining to my [lack of] focus toward my career. I felt like a prize idiot with my enormous head swimming with awkward answers. HELP ME, I wanted to shout into the phone. But, I got no help.

I’m in this alone.