I found what I have been looking for.
Do you ever feel like you’re trying to chisel your life into shape, but you don’t know if you’re making any progress? And then one day, an enormous CHUNK falls KABLAAAM to the floor and you see your life taking significant shape? Beautiful shape?
That’s been me for the past 3 years. There are so many things I want to give my life to, but, you can only choose a handful of things to truly live for. In the end, I believe we return to what is most natural, what is in our blood, and what we find most appropriate to provide guileless meaning in our daily existence.
I came across a blog of a Filipina activist. That sentence may mean nothing to you, but imagine spending your entire life surrounded by images and models of people who look nothing like you. Imagine childhood dreams articulated by voices that sound nothing like your parents’ voices who raised you. Think about every forgettable moment of feeling like you absolutely fit and then imagine never feeling that, ever.
Try to imagine a lifetime of different, different, different. And applause coming only after your pretenses. Imagine half efforts to find something that reflects you, just you. Can you imagine that? Can you?
Then imagine finding a screen with written words that echo your concerns, from a person who you will never meet, but, nonetheless can probably understand your life. Imagine finding an invisible link made visible to only a few in the world, because it wouldn’t mean much to anyone else. Imagine a treasure with only a few names on it and your name is inscribed in the middle.
You don’t throw away miracles of comfort and connection. Or, at least, I don’t.